Dumb Ways To Die
by Snowcrystal of Thunderclan
Summary: Like the title states... This is 'Dumb Ways To Die' Review your ideas! Fox Dung! I suck at summaries... Bye! *Walks away humming 'Dumb ways to die... So many dumb ways to die... Dumb ways to die-ie-ieeee... So many dumb... So many dumb ways to die...'* [Picture is drawn by MistonDawn]
1. The Rodge And The Gathering

**Hi! These are 'Dumb Ways To Die' One Shots. Review to give me ideas! Here we go!**

 _Dumb Ways To Die - The Rodge And The Gathering_

It is a Full Moon. So, Cats from all Clans (except Skyclan! XD) gather together. Bramblestar is going about with his announcements.

"Prey is doing well so far...", Bramblestar stated.

A Rodge came in. He walked in through the center. All the cats looked at him and went to the sides. The Rodge stopped in front of the place that the Leaders where.

"What are you doing here?", Mistystar asked very nicely, "What is your name?"

"Minnow brain.", the Rodge replied.

"Wait, wh-", Mistystar started offended.

The rouge turned to each of the Leaders. 'Rabbit brain!" To Windclan, "Mouse brain" To Shadowclan and...

The Leaders where in shock and before he could say something about Thunderclan but, they attack him.

"I am going to line my nest with your pelt!", Some cat howled.

When he was dead, Hollyleaf came down and grabbed the Rodge and through him in the bushes spatting " That is what you get for disrespect the Leaders!" And to every other cat, she looks around saying, "What? He broke the Warrior Code!" They continue staring. "Ohh! Please continue." She dipped her head then disappeared.

After a while, Mistystar howled, "Riverclan is doing good! And we are now done! The Gathering is over!" And every cat agreed with that.

 **Snowcrystal of Thunderclan: So? How did you like it? I am trying out some new stuff so, you can help me out if you want to... Yeah. Oh! And remember...**

 **Rodge: *Walks is screaming insanely* NEVER WALK INTO A CAT GATHERING AND INSULT** **THE LEADERS!**

 **Snowcrystal: Exactly. Bye!**

 **Rodge: *Mumbles* I need to find a way to kill Holly...**

 **Snowcrystal: Wait, WHAT!**

 **Rodge: Oh! The thing is still going! *Turns and slaps Snowcrystal unconscious then, reaches to turn of the thing off* Bye!**


	2. Sasha, Scrouge, and Bone

_Dumb Ways To Die - Sasha, Scourge, and Bone_

Sasha joined Bloodclan. She saw ALL the evil things he does... and she lovers it!

"Ahh...", Sasha sighed, "He is so bad. So... evil." She grins.

Scourge comes up to her and exclaimed, "What are you wanting for!? Get to work!"

Sasha wrapped herself against Scourge. _'Forget, Tigerstar! This is the cat I want!'_

"What are you doing! Leave me alone!", Scourge demands.

"You evilly, sick animal! Rarrrr...", Sasha says mooning over him.

Scourge takes out his claws and reflexes them into her belly. She falls down dead.

"Bone!", Scrouge calls out.

"Another one? What is wrong with all these She-cats?", Bone asked as he grabs her by the scruff.

"Just add her to the pile.", Scourge replies flexing his claws, "Or you will be next..."

Bone swallows down hard and answers, "Okay! Okay! I'm going!"

Bone brings her body to the pile in a pit. He tosses her in and sighs, "Why are She-cats so _stupid!_ Everyone should know that Scourge will kill..."

Bone walks back to Bloodclan sighing.

 **Snowcrystal: Well... Now you know what happened to Sasha! *Chuckles nervously and licks chest* Now the thing to remember today is...**

 **Sasha: DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SCOURGE!**

 **And Bone says at the same time: She-cats are** ** _stupid_** **to fall in love with Scrouge!**

 **Sasha: *Sasha turns to Bone and attacks him* I'M TALKING!**

 **Snowcrystal: Uhhh... *Stares at Bone and Sasha confused then decides to ignore them* Scrouge is...**

 **Scrouge: *Walks in and flexes his claws* What were you going to say? *Claws Snowcrystal up***

 **Bone: *Stops fighting and sighs* I got it. *Drags Snowcrystal to the pile then continues fighting***

 **Scrouge: *Glares at a sheet* This says... 'Say to Review, Follow, And Favorite!' And to say 'Bye!' So... Bye? *Turns the thing off***


	3. The REAL Reason Ashfur Died

_Chapter 3 - The REAL Reason Ashfur Died_

Ashfur walks around camp grinning like a idiot. He has a reputation of being a piece of Fox Dung and making fun of other cats.

"Hey! Brambleclaw! How are your Daddy Issues!". Ashfur calls out.

Brambleclaw looks around and runs away asking, "Get over it already and leave me alone!"

Ashfur was getting every cat soooo made at him... they decided to hold a private meeting. Really just meaning half the camp.

"We need to get rid of Ashfur!", Brambleclaw growled.

"Yes! He keeps asking me to be his Mate!", Squirrelflight huffed in annoyance.

"How about you kill him, Hollyleaf?", some cat suggested.

"I can't kill him! It is against the Warrior Code!", Hollyleaf gasped, shocked at the suggestion.

"Then don't kill him. Just give him a good slash and tell him to leave us along."

"Fine!", Hollyleaf cracked under pressure.

"Yeah!", every cat cheered as Hollyleaf sulked.

* * *

 **The Next Day...**

Hollyleaf sneaked out of the bushes and charged at Ashfur. His eyes widened.

"Leave u-!" Hollyleaf started as she scratched him. What she didn't realize was that there was a river behind him. He got pushed in and Hollyleaf ran away in fear.

 **Snowcrystal: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It has been awhile and I am not in Scourge's pile of She-cats anymore! Yeah? I have a excuse though... it is 'But no one gave me ideas! I did this on the fly because my brother made me...' *Eyes Wolf*** **Anyway. Remember...**

 **Ashfur: *Limping in, dripping wet, and spitting out water* Never piss of a bunch of cats that will get some cat to kill you!**

 **Snowcrystal: Well you deserved it.**

 **Ashfur: I thought you-! *Starts to rage***

 **Snowcrystal: *Pushes him into river* Well. I don't like you. So sorry. *Glares at notes* W.O.W. I have been doing this wrong! *Looks straight* Please Review, Follow, and Favorite! Bye! *Turns the thing off.***


	4. Froststar's Chapter

**Okay... I can not take credit for this. My friend, Frost (the one that I moved away from... D: ), made this. Oh! And she said the moral was... I will not tell you! You have to wait and read. :D**

* * *

One day, during newleaf, there was a Queen named Mousepelt, who was gossiping like a couple of elders with some other Queens, was distracted... too distracted to pay attention to her five moons old kit, rabbitkit. 'Can I go to Bloodclan, please,' said the little gray kit to his mother.

'Sure, do whatever just don't interupt my conversation,' said his mother unknowing what she had said yes to.

'Okay! I will kill you later!' he said enthusiastically and quietly added, 'I promise,'

A several moons later... "I am finally back" thought the big warrior, who had been born in Thunderclan but moved to Bloodclan at five moons old, now called Rabbit. As he arrived at Thunderclan camp he saw his mother walking out alone to hunt. He waited patiently while she went far away from camp... soon she arrived ten tail lengths from fourtrees. Then, he popped out at her and pinned her down. 'Listen to me!' hissed Rabbit into her ear, as she struggled to get free. She screamed untill she realized no cat could hear her, she finally stopped and settled down.

'Fine I will listen, but why do you want me?' said Mousepelt

'I keep my promises,' the gray warrior said casually, 'and its you because I am your son, who was once Rabbitkit but now Rabbit.'

'What was the promise,' said the worried warrior.

'To kill you,' he spat. And with that he killed her.

* * *

 **And the moral is... DON'T MAKE PROMICES YOU CAN'T KEEP! XD**


End file.
